Are You Falling Into the Expat Ego Trap in Thailand?

[00:00:00] There’s a dangerous trap that almost every expat in Thailand faces, especially expat business owners, and that trap is the ego trap.

[00:00:10] Now, my first experience with this was when I joined an existing expat owned business in Thailand.

[00:00:16] I was overall pretty successful. I got promotions and I was feeling good about myself, but after some time, I think I got this overconfidence because I looked around me and I thought, why am I the only one that’s actually solving all these problems? And I think that inflated my ego quite a bit because I wasn’t surrounded by a lot of people that were sharing ideas and fixing problems like I was.

[00:00:38] And so I think this is a really important issue that a lot of us expats face, and that’s why today what I wanna cover is why this happens in Thailand, the warning signs, and also how to avoid this if you’re experiencing it yourself.

[00:00:52] So first,, why does this happen in Thailand? Well, there is a very big difference between direct Western communication that I came from and a lot of others come from, and the indirect Thai communication. It’s sort of the other end of the spectrum, right? As Westerners, we’re gonna be pretty direct and as Thais, it’s gonna be very, very indirect. We have polar opposites here. And Thai staff are typically going to avoid conflict at all costs. Whereas again, as westerners, we are more comfortable with disagreement. In fact, sometimes we actually chase disagreement. We want to have disagreement.

[00:01:28] So this is what the frustration cycle usually looks like. You ask your staff or your team for ideas. The staff is hesitant to provide any ideas, and then you end up providing all the ideas. Along with that comes some level of frustration. ’cause after all, why are you always the one that has to come up with all the ideas by yourself?

[00:01:49] So no one is ever challenging your ideas? And you’ll start to believe that you’re the one that’s always right and your ego is going to inflate just natural, right?

[00:01:58] The misconception that you probably have is that your Thai staff has no ideas.

[00:02:03] You have to remember the cultural context. After all, given this indirect communication and lack of conflict, you have to actually make it very easy to give feedback or you’re not gonna get any at all.

[00:02:15] here are a few questions to ask yourself. What happens when someone does end up challenging you? Or what happens when someone actually brings up ideas? Do you raise your voice? Do you say something is maybe not a good idea? Do you criticize their idea very openly and quickly, coming up with all the reasons why something couldn’t work? Now, what about the people that you hire? Do you end up hiring people that are more junior and who are probably not gonna be pushing back ’cause they’re kind of early in their career? Or do you hire people with a bit more experience that have worked in other international environments and have proven that they can come up with and lead initiatives?

[00:02:57] Maybe you’ve grown comfortable with the fact that your Thai staff doesn’t speak up and push back on your ideas as much. So here’s the fundamental question I think you really have to ask. Do you wanna build a business here in Thailand that relies solely on you until the day that you die? If you leave, if you go on holiday, if anything happens, do you wanna make sure that that business will crumble without you? Or do you wanna build something that’s sustainable that doesn’t rely solely on you? Because if you want to build something that doesn’t rely solely on you, then it’s gonna be important that you make a shift in order to operate an effective business here in Thailand.

[00:03:36] You need to make sure that you don’t expect your Thai staff to act like Westerners. So let me explain. If you’re gonna have a meeting where you’re discussing the things that are going wrong and the things that could be going better within your organization, make sure that you’re actually giving your staff time to prepare. Share with them in an email, share with them ahead of time what you’re trying to do and the purpose of a meeting that’s upcoming. I’d also highly encourage you to have one-on-ones with them, to have some back and forth with you to formulate ideas.

[00:04:06] And the reason I’m saying this is because if you have a meeting where you’re discussing about ways that you can improve your operations or whatever it may be, don’t expect your staff who’s likely thinking in Thai, and then coming up and formulating thoughts, don’t expect them to do that all on the spot.

[00:04:23] You need to lay things up so that they can come up with their own ideas in time versus instantly. And so by doing this and by allowing them time to prepare, giving them some heads up on things, you’re more likely to get feedback in the meeting itself.

[00:04:37] Now let’s get to a tip of the meeting itself. Well, again, don’t criticize because if you criticize publicly, you’re gonna make your staff lose face and they’re gonna not do it again.

[00:04:49] When people are sharing ideas, listen, get others to provide feedback. But if you push back and say a reason that something isn’t gonna work or a reason you’ve tried it before, then they’re gonna feel like their idea was silly and they got this pushback and they didn’t feel good about it, so they’re not gonna do it again. So I’d encourage you to make sure it’s a very open and constructive conversation while not providing a ton of pushback, especially in the early stages.

[00:05:12] And another tip is to make sure you give credit to your staff.

[00:05:16] Emphasize the benefit that your staff provided as often as possible. Even if you came up with an idea and they followed through with it. Give credit to your staff. Give credit to your staff at any chance that you get, because after all, you’re gonna encourage more open discussion and conversations if you make sure that they know that they’re appreciated for the things that they do, even if it’s not this assertive direct communication that you might be used to.

[00:05:39] All right, so the summary here is really just that your ego is the enemy in Thailand. Until you put your ego in check, you’re not gonna be a successful leader here in Thailand.

[00:05:48] You’re gonna end up staying frustrated and you’re gonna start thinking about all the reasons that Thailand can’t be this way or can’t be that way. But in reality, it all comes back to you because you are the only person that you can control.

[00:05:59] If your staff is silent, it’s often a reflection on your own leadership, not your team’s capabilities.

[00:06:07] Alright, well I hope you got value from this. If you did, all I ask is that you like the video, you subscribed to my channel, if you like this topic, things around the workplace, doing business in Thailand, working as a professional in Thailand,

[00:06:18] If you like this sort of thing, you’re gonna really enjoy other content from the channel. I really appreciate you. If I missed anything at all, please leave a comment down below.

[00:06:26] Alright, bye for now.